Archive for Blogger Brigade
Bye Bye Summer
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So, summer is coming to an end, and even though it’s still hotter than you know what down here in Alabama, I can’t ignore the fact that its actually September…which is a Fall month…which means cooler weather MUST be around the corner, right? (PLEASE be around the corner)
Anywho, I thought I would address my loves and hates of summer.
Dear Summer,
Yes, I know that you are sunny and hot and its the best time of the year for a vacation, but for those of us who do not have the time nor the husband (Who is undoubtedly in some foreign country)for a vacation, you are just a thorn in my side! You are the time of year that I cannot walk from the front door to the car without needing another shower.
You are the time of year when I look like a total goober in shorts when I have Casper-white legs. YOU are the time of year when a bathing suit is actually a required wardrobe piece…ugh. Oh, Summer….you and I have our differences, but I can’t deny that I love the long days, the pop-sicles on the back porch, and cooling off in a sky blue pool. It is definitely a hate/love relationship, but my kids seem to adore you, so for that I thank you……
Bye Bye, Summer.
Thank goodness Fall is upon us! Can I get an AMEN!! I can’t wait to wear me some skinny jeans and boots…big long sweaters, and cutesy scarves. I wanna cook chili on a cold night, and drink coco with my little ones. Praise the Lord that I don’t need a tan for Fall!!! Here’s to the pale ladies!!!
Here’s to the gals who’s husbands aren’t around to watch the seasons change…may you and your families be blessed, and your hubbies home sooner than later. Here’s to gaining 10 lbs over Halloween and Thanksgiving!!! (This would be more appropriate with a drink in my hand.) Here’s to the end of Summer!!!
*The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.- Ghandi*
Audra
One Phone Call
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If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say?
I’m notorious for reminding people about moments – that they’re fleeting, that life is made up of a billion tiny ones, that you must remember the good so that the bad doesn’t overcome, etcetera. I’m also quite notorious for getting caught up in one moment and letting it permeate the rest of my day/weekend/month so that all of life becomes seemingly unsalvageable. But, who are you kidding? We all have a tendency to do that, and you know you can’t deny it.
I had a weekend that was full of amazing wonder. My old college roommate – and trust me, that was a long time ago – came to visit this weekend. She and her husband are both active duty Army and are about to deploy for the second time in their short married life. The first time, 2 months after they had married, kept them separated for about a year and half. This deployment will actually take them to the same area, but it is still another year over seas. Emily and I reconnected in a way that I can’t even explain, and I find myself full of overflowing blessings this morning.
The whole experience reminded me that time passes too quickly, that time can be gone in an instant, and that life’s most precious blessings are found in the smile of a loved one. In the same moment that Emily walked into my door, several of our “boys” (for I am indeed a den mother in this military wife life) deployed to parts unknown for an unknown amount of time. Their loved ones hugged them for too long, shed tears for an emotion that can not be put into words, and are now waiting with bated breath for whatever comes next.
I am beyond thankful this morning for the renewed reminder of precious and fleeting moments, a lesson that is often brought to the forefront of my mind because of this military life. In the great words of Steven Levine, “If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?“
It’s that time of year again!
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My house is so quiet today….you could hear a pin drop, if there was anyone here to drop a pin that is. It’s quite a change from the last couple of months of ‘summer vacation’ of listening to four girls pick fights with each other, or hearing “MOM!” a thousand and one times a day. There is no Disney Channel or Nickelodeon on the television…..
You see, today is the first day of school! After all of the primping and preening and photo taking, everyone made it onto their bus on time dressed in their new clothes with their new school supplies safely tucked into their backpacks.
When they were all gone, I sat and enjoyed my coffee with no distractions…no one was arguing over the TV?! I even got some housework done. It sure was a nice change to pick up the family room and have it stay that way for more than five minutes. I even got to eat a snack without having to share! 
But now, as the day wears on, I find myself checking the clock to see how much longer until they come home so I can hear all about their first day…
- How was the bus ride?
- Did you see your old friends?
- Did you make some new ones?
- Do you like your teacher?
I can’t wait to hear the answers, probably all at once! Only a couple of hours left……
On a side note…
I have some good news to share! My Blogger Brigade post in July was about preparing for my husband to deploy to Afghanistan…I am happy to report that his trip was canceled at the last minute! So continues the roller coaster ride we call being a Military Family…HANG ON!!
The USS Indianapolis
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Survivors of USS Indianapolis (CA-35) in Guam, 8 August 1945.
The tragedy of war hangs with us no matter how many years have passed since the event took place. Many have watched shark week this August. During the course of it , we learned about the tragic events surrounding the sinking of the USS Indianapolis.
Almost 1,000 men went into the water…Only about 317 came out of it a week later. What went wrong? Obviously I can’t answer those question but I can make you think & wonder about the ever mysterious “what if”.
History Lesson
At 12:14 a.m. on July 30, 1945, the USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine in the Philippine Sea and sank in 12 minutes. Of 1,196 men on board, approximately 300 went down with the ship. The remainder, about 900 men, were left floating in shark-infested waters with no lifeboats and most with no food or water. The ship was never missed, and by the time the survivors were spotted by accident four days later only 316 men were still alive. (http://www.ussindianapolis.org)
What Went Wrong?
So what do we know? We know that the ship was hit by a Japanese torpedo…We know they had zero chance of survival since they were completely alone! The navy knew there were subs in the area but they did not warn Cpt. McVay; the USS Indianapolis was not equipped with antisubmarine detection devices, & McVay’s request for a destroy escort was denied.
While crossing the Philippine Sea the night of July 29th, Cpt. McVay ordered the protective zigzag pattern to cease. The visibility was very poor & the cloud cover very heavy. About an hour after the order was given the Indianapolis was spotted by the Japanese sub I-58, it was just a blur in the water but submarine commander Mochitura Hasimoto gave the order to fire.
5 Days of Hell
5 days at sea…5 days wondering & waiting if you’ll die. Many of the men who died did so because of the lack of supplies & the unrelenting sun. They had no fresh water & they knew drinking the salty ocean water would end in disaster. Its day 2, the sharks are here. The injured are first to be dragged under, then the those who have drifted away from the group would begin to disappear beneath the water.
Captain McVay
Sadly Cpt. McVay was blamed for this tragic event. He faced a court-martial in December & was found guilty. “The charge upon which he was convicted for failing to zigzag contained a phrase ‘in good visibility.’
“The visibility that night was NOT good as all of us know who were there that night.” (Paul J. Murphy)
None of the men who survived believed that it was their Cpt.’s fault. Even after McVay committed suicide, his men fought to clear his name; in 2001 they finally succeed.
August is Romance Awareness Month
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August is Romance Awareness Month!
We got married in August too and just celebrated our anniversary.
When you first get married it seems the romance is everywhere. You are newlyweds and just enjoy each other. I have such fond memories of those days. We would pack picnics and head to the beach or park. Take random day trips. Dinner dates, movie dates, etc.
Then two big things happened. We had children and we joined the military. It’s been a lot harder to have that precious time together the last 5 years. We have to work a lot harder to make it happen. We take advantage of childcare to have dates, even in the middle of the day. We are thankful for Grandparents who we can trust with our children while we going off for a 2 night trip. We can spend time together after the kids go to bed.
Eventually I would love to have a weekly date night (when he is home.) Just a night we can go out, just the two of us and catch up, check in and just be a couple. A night that we knew would happen every week.
When he is away I hope that we can write to each other to connect. I love receiving love letters and being able to have a reason to pour out my heart to him. Even if it is just over email.
I have been married 8 years now and I have learned that no matter how long you have been married, you can still have romance in your relationship. You just might have to work a little harder at it at times.
Coast Guard Day
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Happy 220th Birthday to the United States Coast Guard!
Click here to read the Commandant’s Coast Guard Day message.
Semper Paratus!
Having Fun as a Family
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August is Family Fun Month!
The month of July is almost over and school will be starting soon in most areas. Why not take advantage of August, also known as Family Fun Month, with some great activities that the entire family can enjoy?
Let the games begin!
Amusement parks usually offer a variety of activities for kids of all ages and adults alike, but can be pretty expensive. If you are looking for something a little more affordable, check out your local area for festivals, fairs, and other celebrations.
Maybe camping is more your family’s style. You could utilize a campground or if you are lucky enough to have a yard, you don’t even have to leave home. Pitch a tent in the backyard and build a fire. Weather not cooperating? Camp in the living room! Make a tent with blankets and watch your favorite movies. Speaking of movies, have a family movie night. Make some popcorn or other favorite snacks and pick out a few movies to watch. Another idea is family game night when you can play board games, cards, or even video games.
Go hiking and pack a picnic or go for a leisurely walk around the neighborhood and have a picnic in your yard or the local park. Take along the frisbee or kite!
Swimming is another fun activity for families. Check out your local pool or beaches if you don’t have your own pool. Sprinklers are always fun and a great way to cool off on a hot day.
The fun doesn’t have to end…
The possibilities are endless to spend some fun, quality time as a family. It all depends on your particular family’s likes and dislikes and how much money you want to spend or not spend. Family fun doesn’t have to end with the month of August either! Make it a weekly or monthly priority for your family to spend some quality time together, even if it is just sitting down to watch your favorite TV shows together.
As a military family with a looming deployment in our near future we are taking advantage of all the family time we can get…
A Family’s Guide…For Dummies
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A Family's Guide to the Military For Dummies
I suppose we have all read the military books on how to be a good spouse…have they helped? After awhile I gave up on how to books, I wanted to read something I could relate to a little bit better. I read some great books by some amazing mil-spouse authors. Then I came across a how to book that I just couldn’t pass up. Now bare in mind I am not being paid to write this but I thought it’d be worth sharing. A Family’s Guide to the Military for Dummies is a great resource.
Skeptical
I was definitely unsure about the book at first. How would people who right books on subjects all over the place know anything about military family life? What really drew me in was the fact one of the writers is Sue Hoppin, Military Spouse & Family Advocate. The foreword of the book is written by none other than Tanya Biank…that’s right ladies the author of Army Wives. I figured well if an army wife is supporting it & a military spouse is writing it then maybe it won’t be half bad.
Cheat Sheet
The first page of the book is a tear-out page called the Cheat Sheet. The Cheat Sheet has really good information for a quick glance instead of having to thumb through the whole book for that one little item you need. In Building a Successful Military Family the authors, “…boil it down to a few pointers that they want you to always remember…” (Cheat Sheet side 1).
- Be flexible!
- Respect each other’s dreams & goals.
- Manage expectations.
- Develop family rituals.
- Maintain an open line of communication.
- Take advantage of all opportunities afforded to you by the military.
- Remember that you are just as important to the mission as your service-member spouse.
Part IV: Mastering Deployment
Whether or not you buy the book the fourth part is definitely going to be one of the most helpful. We all wish we had that one extra day to spend with our husbands before they deploy but when the military says go…They go. In Mastering Deployment you will find four chapters dedicated to helping you as a family through the tough times. The part I am reading currently is Understanding the Emotional Cycles of Deployment. From pages 227-235 the book lays out different emotions we may or may not feel; everyone deals with deployment differently.
- Anticipation of Departure
- Detachment & Withdrawal
- Emotional Disorganization
- Recovery & Stabilization
- Anticipation of Return
- Return Adjustment & Renegotiation
- Reintegration & Stabilization
In Closing…
As spouses we need to remember that being a member of the Silent Ranks is like joining the world’s largest sorority. Our sisters are there for us no matter the time & no matter what we need. We need to learn to put aside our pride (we all know we have it) & use the resources given to us. A Family’s Guide to the Military for Dummies is not just another boring how to guide but an actual book that will break things down step by step from the easiest things you will face to the hardest. Give the book a try & remember when you are done with it pass it on to a new family.
“Do these jeans make my homecoming look big?”
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My phone rang…”This is your Family Readiness Officer, informing you that we have recieved a stop-mail date…”
It is the end of July and there is a light at the end of my deployment tunnel…I can’t send any more mail! Now comes what my Chaplain calls “The Four Horsemen”, “Will my husband have changed?“, “Have I changed?“, “Will he still love me?“, “Will he be supportive of the decisions I have made?“. These are the questions that plague us all when the reality of our loved one returning home (soon!) hits. Fortunately for me, I can answer the question, “Will he still love me?“, pretty easily. I have no doubts there! After our first deployment together of course we have both changed. I have become more confident, more independent, and I’ve discovered that I am, in fact, one tough cookie. I’ve also discovered many more recipes to pack back on the 29 pounds my husband has lost! With homecoming on the horizon I can’t help but think, “Will he like the new me? What if he has become a different person? Will he like the number in our bank account?“.
Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond excited for the buses to pull up and for my handsome husband to step his boots onto American soil again but homecoming is the one aspect of military life that civilians really don’t understand. There are hugs and kisses and balloons and a ride off into the sunset (all in slow-motion and with perfect lighting)…but when you’ve learned to live alone (or to be mommy AND daddy) sharing your home again can be stressful. I am very prepared for my eye to twitch when I find a pile of crumpled, dirty cammies on the bedroom floor (at least the first dozen times or so…) or coffee dripped on the counter. It’s unreasonable to expect the perfect movie ending to a long seperation. It’s kinda like breaking in a new pair of jeans. At first they can pinch in all the wrong places but after a couple weeks of wearing them you have that comfy worn in feeling and you don’t ever want to take them off.
When I ride in past the gate, park and stand with my “Welcome Home!” banner, I will be about to put on those brand new jeans….but I know soon enough they’ll be like a second skin. And then those “Four Horsemen” can ride off into the sunset alone.
Summertime on a Budget
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Summertime on a Budget
I have found in our family it isn’t hard to think of fun things to do in the summertime. What can be more difficult is finding free or low cost things to do with the kids. This is so important when you are on a tight budget!
My boys are 3 and 5 so good ages for getting out there and finding some fun things to do. Here are a few activities I have found for them.
Water Play
One thing we have done is taken them to a splash park/public fountain. It seems like most areas have at least one. The boys love this as they get to splash around in the water, keeping cool and having fun. I love it because it is free!
The pool is another fun, low cost thing to do. The pool on our Army post charges $2.00 per person, and if your kids are under 6 they get in free. So for our family of 4 we just pay $4.00 for a fun afternoon.
Movie Time
If you like to go to the movies you know how much it can cost. After tickets and any snacks you get, you have spent an arm and a leg. Some cities have free kids movies in the summer. They are ones that have been out for a bit but check with your local theater to see if they have anything like that in your area.
And if all else fails, pack a picnic lunch and head to the park.
There seems to be a lot of free and low cost things to do this summer. So take a look in your community and see what you can find! There is a lot out there