“Do these jeans make my homecoming look big?”

My phone rang…”This is your Family Readiness Officer, informing you that we have recieved a stop-mail date…”

It is the end of July and there is a light at the end of my deployment tunnel…I can’t send any more mail! Now comes what my Chaplain calls “The Four Horsemen”, “Will my husband have changed?“, “Have I changed?“, “Will he still love me?“, “Will he be supportive of the decisions I have made?“. These are the questions that plague us all when the reality of our loved one returning home (soon!) hits. Fortunately for me, I can answer the question, “Will he still love me?“, pretty easily. I have no doubts there!  After our first deployment together of course we have both changed. I have become more confident, more independent, and I’ve discovered that I am, in fact, one tough cookie. I’ve also discovered many more recipes to pack back on the 29 pounds my husband has lost! With homecoming on the horizon I can’t help but think, “Will he like the new me? What if he has become a different person? Will he like the number in our bank account?“.

Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond excited for the buses to pull up and for my handsome husband to step his boots onto American soil again but homecoming is the one aspect of military life that civilians really don’t understand. There are hugs and kisses and balloons and a ride off into the sunset (all in slow-motion and with perfect lighting)…but when you’ve learned to live alone (or to be mommy AND daddy) sharing your home again can be stressful. I am very prepared for my eye to twitch when I find a pile of crumpled, dirty cammies on the bedroom floor (at least the first dozen times or so…) or coffee dripped on the counter. It’s unreasonable to expect the perfect movie ending to a long seperation. It’s kinda like breaking in a new pair of jeans. At first they can pinch in all the wrong places but after a couple weeks of wearing them you have that comfy worn in feeling and you don’t ever want to take them off.

When I ride in past the gate, park and stand with my “Welcome Home!” banner, I will be about to put on those brand new jeans….but I know soon enough they’ll be like a second skin. And then those “Four Horsemen” can ride off into the sunset alone.