Preparing for Deployment
ByPreparing for Deployment….
As I sit at my desk and start writing this blog, my husband’s combat gear, packed and ready to go, is sitting 10 feet from me. I loathe the sight of his flak jacket, Kevlar helmet and miscellaneous other gear that is designed to keep him alive because I know that means he is leaving us again soon. But, at the same time, I am thankful that he has this equipment to keep him safe.
Several different emotions and feelings come to the surface when he gets ready to deploy….anger, guilt, fear, apprehension, sadness and…PRIDE.
Anger and Guilt
Some days I feel ticked at the world because he has to go again. Then the guilt kicks in because I don’t believe I have the right to feel angry because he had already been in the Marine Corps for 6 years when we got married….I knew what I was getting myself in to…this is his job, after all, but the anger still rears its ugly head, regardless if I have the right to feel it or not.
Fear
The fear gets overwhelming at times…fear that he will be injured…or worse. I have to shut my brain off sometimes or my imagination will run away with itself and that is never good.
Apprehension
Will I be able to keep the home running smoothly and take care of the kids by myself? I KNOW I can, I KNOW I am capable…but some days I just don’t want to! I want my husband here to help with the day to day routine and chores of the home. I want him here to help with decision making. Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong choice.
Sadness
It makes me incredibly sad to think of the life moments he is going to miss…3 of the 4 kids’ birthdays, first day of school, the entire fall and winter holiday season and our 12 year anniversary just to name a few.
Pride
Words can not really, truly express how proud I am of my husband and all he has accomplished in his 18+ years as a Marine and for stepping up to defend this wonderful Country we call home.
I’m not sure that Preparing for Deployment is an appropriate title for this blog because I don’t think you can ever totally prepare yourself for the roller coaster ride that is deployment. We just have to buckle our seat belts and hang on tight!
So, I am going to dig out my yellow ribbon and tie it around the old oak tree until he comes home to us….again.
My yellow ribbon tied around the oak tree in my front yard.
Thank You! Sometimes I think we forget to say Thank You to the family members who serve as well. During my tenure as a Marine Wife I never experienced deployment. I have experienced the enduring and endless commradery of sisterhood and family from within our community. For that we are all thankful. With that I hope you are able to sustain those long days and nights, knowing your “sisters” are always at the ready.
As I read this blog written by my daughter, I feel the same emotions she describes. I also am proud of her husband (my son-in-law) and worry about him during deployment. I feel the pride as well, but mine includes her for the incredible job she does with 4 children and a home to maintain while he is away serving OUR country and risking his life for us all.
Until my daughter married her Marine, I never gave much thought to what a wife goes through during deployment. Shame on me!
Well done, BJ…!
You should’ve told me this was up! It’s a great post, Bj, and spot on. Many of us would like to be able to put this process into words so other might start to understand. Thank you!
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[...] have some good news to share! My Blogger Brigade post in July was about preparing for my husband to deploy to Afghanistan…I am happy to report that his trip [...]