A Family’s Guide…For Dummies

A Family's Guide to the Military For Dummies

I suppose we have all read the military books on how to be a good spouse…have they helped? After awhile I gave up on how to books, I wanted to read something I could relate to a little bit better. I read some great books by some amazing mil-spouse authors. Then I came across a how to book that I just couldn’t pass up. Now bare in mind I am not being paid to write this but I thought it’d be worth sharing. A Family’s Guide to the Military for Dummies is a great resource.

Skeptical

I was definitely unsure about the book at first. How would people who right books on subjects all over the place know anything about military family life? What really drew me in was the fact one of the writers is Sue Hoppin, Military Spouse & Family Advocate. The foreword of the book is written by none other than Tanya Biank…that’s right ladies the author of Army Wives. I figured well if an army wife is supporting it & a military spouse is writing it then maybe it won’t be half bad.

Cheat Sheet

The first page of the book is a tear-out page called the Cheat Sheet. The Cheat Sheet has really good information for a quick glance instead of having to thumb through the whole book for that one little item you need. In Building a Successful Military Family the authors, “…boil it down to a few pointers that they want you to always remember…” (Cheat Sheet side 1).

• Be flexible!
• Respect each other’s dreams & goals.
• Manage expectations.
• Develop family rituals.
• Maintain an open line of communication.
• Take advantage of all opportunities afforded to you by the military.
• Remember that you are just as important to the mission as your service-member spouse.

Part IV: Mastering Deployment

Whether or not you buy the book the fourth part is definitely going to be one of the most helpful. We all wish we had that one extra day to spend with our husbands before they deploy but when the military says go…They go. In Mastering Deployment you will find four chapters dedicated to helping you as a family through the tough times.  The part I am reading currently is Understanding the Emotional Cycles of Deployment. From pages 227-235 the book lays out different emotions we may or may not feel; everyone deals with deployment differently.

• Anticipation of Departure
• Detachment & Withdrawal
• Emotional Disorganization
• Recovery & Stabilization
• Anticipation of Return
• Return Adjustment & Renegotiation
• Reintegration & Stabilization

In Closing…

As spouses we need to remember that being a member of the Silent Ranks is like joining the world’s largest sorority. Our sisters are there for us no matter the time & no matter what we need. We need to learn to put aside our pride (we all know we have it) & use the resources given to us.  A Family’s Guide to the Military for Dummies is not just another boring how to guide but an actual book that will break things down step by step from the easiest things you will face to the hardest. Give the book a try & remember when you are done with it pass it on to a new family.